December 2, 2010

We dollhouse monsters

our jowls crashing like cymbals, while my baby brother takes out his eight-ball left eye and squints his right to line up his shot on the world’s smallest pool table. Mother has a camera for a head; it flashes uncontrollably though she claims to have run out of film a hundred years ago, when father’s penis, an unstoppable spigot, became a garden sprinkler, contained by adult diapers, changed hourly, and hourly, my sister— shuffling out of her hiding place in the cuckoo clock, her hair a mess of paper clips, a Raggedy Ann doll in […]
November 5, 2010

Don't Bring Camels in the Classroom

Don’t bring camels in the classroom. Don’t bring scorpions to school. Don’t bring rhinos, rats, or reindeer. Don’t bring mice or moose or mule. Pull your penguin off the playground. Put your python in a tree. Place your platypus wherever you think platypi should be. Lose your leopard and your lemur. Leave your llama and your leech. Take your tiger, toad, and toucan anywhere but where they teach. Send your wombat and your weasel with your wasp and wolverine. Hide your hedgehog and hyena where you’re sure they won’t be seen. Please get rid of […]
October 5, 2010

Bubble Wrap, Bubble Wrap

Bubble wrap, bubble wrap, pop, pop, pop. Wrapped around my bottom Wrapped around my top. I’m double-wrapped in bubble wrap It’s covering my clothes. It’s wrapped around my fingers. It’s wrapped around my toes. I’ve wrapped myself in bubble wrap exactly as I’d planned. But now I’m tied so tightly, I can barely even stand. I’m having trouble walking. I can hardly even hop. I guess I’ll have to roll today. Pop, pop, pop. Kenn Nesbitt Minnie
September 22, 2010

Kidnapped and Forced into Diapers

It's time for Mommy to look for a new baby. I'm not going about it the normal or acceptable way though. I'm hunting a new baby for myself. My choice has been narrowed down to three. Potential Baby Number One is a student at the local University. He is simply adorable and I bet he could use a Mommy to pamper him and take care of him. Potential Baby Number Two is a single man in his early 30's. I've been watching him for weeks and he leaves for work so early I could nab […]
September 10, 2010

Dare to Dream!

Deep within ourselves, there is a special knowledge. It tells us every now and then what it is that will really make us happy. I think we are born with it. It tells us why we are here and what we should do with our lives. Sometimes we listen to that little voice, and other times we dismiss it as a “silly dream”. Dare to Dream! Don’t push what you want in your life aside as if you are not worth it. You are! Dare to Dream! If your mind wanders to that special spot […]
August 14, 2010

Eyes of a Friend

When my heart’s feeling broken and my spirit’s lost its wings When the road is full of puddles and my step has lost its spring There is someone there to count on who repairs my broken heart and gives me wings to fly and I make a brand new start A special one who doesn’t judge me or criticize the things I do Someone who makes me take a look and see me through the eyes of you When this happens I am lifted to a place that’s far above from the darkness to the […]
May 14, 2010

Bed in Summer

In Winter I get up at night And dress by yellow candle light. In Summer, quite the other way, I have to go to bed by day. I have to go to bed and see The birds still hopping on the tree, Or hear the grown-up people’s feet Still going past me in the street. And does it not seem hard to you, When all the sky is clear and blue, And I should like so much to play, To have to go to bed by day? Robert Louis Stevenson Minnie
April 5, 2010

Oh dear what can the matter be?

Oh dear what can the matter be? Dear dear what can the matter be? Oh dear what can the matter be? Johnny’s so long at the fair. He promised he’d buy me a fairing should please me, And then for a kiss, oh! He vowed he would tease me, He promised he’d bring me a bunch of blue ribbons To tie up my bonny brown hair. Oh dear what can the matter be? Dear, dear what can the matter be? Oh dear what can the matter be? Johnny’s so long at the fair. He promised […]
March 31, 2010

When the sun comes up on Easter Day, Folks dressed in new outfits will be on display. Little Jane’s bright yellow dress has a big white bow, Her new shoes hurt but she won’t let her pain show. Brother Jimmy’s new suit is a young boy’s worst fear, He much rather dress in casual jeans type of gear. Mom bought a new outfit its two shades of pink, Dad saw how she looked and gave her a wink. The hand colored eggs have been hidden from view, The children will find them in the grass […]
February 24, 2010

A NAUGTY LITTLE POEM??

I’m sure you can imagine As plain as you can be The place is Picadilly The player He and She She whispered “Will it hurt me?” “Of course not” answered he “It’s a very simple process, You can rely on me.” She said “I’m frightened, I’ve not had this before. My friend has had it five times. And said it can be sore.” Then finally contented Laid back and relaxed a bit Quickly and readily he bent over her And then he started it It was growing rather painful Tears formed in her eyes It […]
January 21, 2010

OLD MOTHER HUBBARD

Old Mother Hubbard Old Mother Hubbard went to the cupboard To give her poor dog a bone, But when she got there, the cupboard was bare, And so the poor dog had none. She went to the baker’s To buy him some bread, But when she came back The poor dog was dead. She went to the joiner’s To buy him a coffin, But when she came back The poor dog was laughin’. She took a clean dish To get him some tripe, But when she came back He was smoking a pipe. She went […]
January 5, 2010

Here are Grandma's Spectacles.

Here are Grandma’s spectacles, And here is Grandma’s hat, And here’s the way she folds her hands, And puts them in her lap. Here are Grandpa’s spectacles, And here is Grandpa’s hat, And here’s the way he folds his arms, And takes a little nap. So let us be very quiet as to not wake Grandpa up because we know how grumpy he is when he doesn’t get his nap out